Autism community, Vancouverites reach out after dad shares son’s birthday party heartbreak

After just one classmate attended his son’s birthday party, a Vancouver dad says he’s grateful for the support he’s received since he shared the heartbreaking experience online.

David Chen decided to throw his son Max a huge party to celebrate turning six years old – and invited all 19 of his classmates to the party this past weekend.

“My autism spectrum disorder kid is the different kid in the class. We invited all his classmates to his birthday party today & only 1 showed up. Difficult to explain to my kid & that kid’s mom that only one classmate came. Not making assumptions but still an empty feeling day,” Chen wrote Saturday.

A photo posted by David Chen to Twitter on May 14, 2022 shows an empty play area which the family had booked for Max’s birthday party. (Courtesy: Twitter/David Chen)

Since then, he’s received support from hundreds of people, many of which have shared similar experiences of feeling left out as well as parents who also have children who have special needs.

“We are getting responses word-wide so clearly it’s resonating. I think another one that again hit me really hard was that someone experienced this 30 years ago, and they still remember. So clearly, those echoes from the past have a lasting impact,” he told CityNews.

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Despite inviting the entire class, Chen had only heard back from a few parents before the party but was hopeful that some would show up last minute.

“We hit the go button and prepared for everything and unfortunately the one child showed up, that was it. That was when the emptiness hit us.

“Believe me, singing happy birthday with no chorus, that was really painful,” he said.

Chen says one of the challenges is that his son has not been able to develop connections with his peer group, and that impacts the bonds between parents as well. Chen admits he hasn’t been able to meet many of the parents ahead of the party and is hopeful that this creates new opportunities to do that.

Max, who is on the autism spectrum, playing with toys at a table. (Courtesy: David Chen)

“There’s a lot of emptiness and I didn’t want to draw any assumptions, no matter what the cause, I wanted people to know what the impacts were. It couldn’t be just us going through something like that.”

Chen says he was able to talk to the Parent Advisory Committee and address a path forward not just for his child but for everyone.

As well, Max’s class threw him a party on Tuesday, which Chen says Max loved.

“You know, I think a lot of families like ours, they deal with challenges in isolation. And I think … speaking out allows people to feel comfortable. So yeah, it was me too. And getting hundreds of responses of same shared experiences was just gut-wrenching,” he said.